One Womyn’s Story

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By a past client of RVSS

The moment your eyes are opened to someone’s true colours, it is life changing, life altering, life shattering – sure feels like it at that very moment. What do you do? Keep playing along? It is an incredible fairy tale I am portraying.My pride was too much to walk away the first time.You do not know why or when, but when your eyes truly open to your surroundings, you will know it is time. Time to change, time to take a leap of  faith, time to ignore your ego, time to swallow your pride. The big question is – now what?Society has implemented, drilled into my head really, finish high school, go to college, get married,buy a house, have babies. That is exactly what I did. After all is that not what life is about? Is that not the fairy tale? Here is my happy future and I am dying inside. Looking back I could blame how young I was, maybe that was his motive. I could blame how naïve I was, after all wasn’t this love?

The first time he put his hands on me, I was in complete shock. My very life threatened to not exist anymore. Who knew I was so easily expendable. Looking back I realize this is when myself-worth was lost. I wasn’t me anymore, I went along with the program, his agenda. I though the would never do that to me again; clearly I was an idiot. I never even realized the emotional abuse I endured. If the house was not kept up to his standards I was in trouble. If I didn’t keep my small figure I would start hearing the comments.The list could go on and on. It was not until a few years later, I was sitting with him in the dark being interrogated…again. This is the moment a big bucket of water splashed me in the face.

Being questioned and drilled for information about cheating. I was already isolated, been that way for years. He already would go through my phone and emails. I had nothing to hide; he was not going to find what he was hoping for. BUT CHEATING?REALLY? I take pride in my loyalty. Little did I realize this was the build-up. After he put his hands on me again, the manipulation I went through was incredible. The only difference this time, I knew what was happening. I was not going to stick around anymore to see where this nightmare was heading. When he realized I was leaving, I would hear him on the phone with everyone telling them how I cheated and calling me down. I sat quietly,not fighting, not speaking just listening to the venom spit out of his mouth; really it was important for him to get his “little” story out. With my children and their belongings, we left. We left to start a new life, to be happy, to find true, real love and above all stop the fighting.

You will know it is time. Time to change, time to take a leap of faith, time to ignore your ego, time to swallow your pride. The“big question is – now what?

I would be lying if I said it was easy. This was the biggest struggle I have ever gone through, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It took months and months to put these puzzle pieces back together. I
never gave up. I wanted to shatter and fall, but I couldn’t. There were people counting on me – my children. Every day the brave face would be put on, behind closed doors I broke down, alone, confused… torn. I needed help. In all honesty, who knew walking through RVSS doors would change my life drastically for the better.

RVSS Safe Shelter Program

Offers emergency short-term shelter for women and their children who seek a safe place to stay. Information and support are available, regardless if shelter is needed. Individuals do not need to report to the police in order to access safe shelter. For Safe Shelter services in Valemount call 250-566-1248 and McBride call 250-569- 7453. We are looking for an additional safe shelter home in Valemount, please call 250-566-9107 for more information. Funded by BC Housing.


jayme-duerksenJayme Duerksen
Coordinator for Valemount


jen-quamJennifer Quam
Coordinator for McBride


Donalda BeesonDonalda Beeson
Stopping The Violence Counsellor

RVSS Stopping the Violence Counselling: Offer’s support, advocacy, and individual and/or group counselling to those who identify as female, living with, or at risk of violence; survivors of sexual assault; relationship violence or childhood abuse. Funded by the Ministry of Justice.


 

penny-rivardPenny Rivard
Stopping the Violence Outreach

RVSS Stopping the Violence Outreach: Supports women in, or, transitioning out of an abusive relationship – to living in safety. Support includes accessing out-of-town services and income supports, longterm housing solutions and safety planning. Funded by the
Ministry of Justice.

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